Man's Best Friend

Here's a grand story...ENJOY!

Usually everyone who has a dog either calls him Rover or some such name. I called mine "Sex". Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in an alley at 4am in the morning. I said I'm looking for Sex. My case comes up next Thursday.

One day I went to the Town Hall to get a dog licence for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a licence for Sex. He said he would like to have one too. When I said "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was a two year old". He replied "You must have been a strong boy".

When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the ceremony. I said "But Sex played a big part in my life and my whole life revolves around Sex". He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there". The next day we were married by a Justice of Peace. My family is barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for sex. Then I said "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night". And the clerk said "Me too".

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married." And the Judge said "Me too." When I told hime that after I was married Sex had left me, he said "Me too."

Well, now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more damn troubke with that dog than I had ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my frist session with the psychiatrist, she asked me: "What seems to be the trouble," I replied "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like lossing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor looked at me and said "Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend, so get yourself a DOG!